Yesterday I wrote about doubt. And, not surprisingly, I had a huge doubt attack after sharing so personally. This is the wily way in which doubt works. The antidote to doubt is trust--trust in myself, in my basic goodness, and in the truth of the present moment. Trust that I am okay, just as I am (without any doing, achieving, accomplishing, changing). When I'm mindful, I'm in touch with my kind heart, and I trust. When I'm not mindful, I inhabit fear and doubt and then more busyness. My therapist once said to me, "Joy, everything you need is already inside of you." This is a mantra I've repeated weekly, if not daily. In fact, her statement is true. I'm already okay, enough, strong, lovable, wise, capable--these are things in which I can trust deeply (yet pesky doubt still sneaks in). Each day is another step on the trust path.
Wednesday evening, as Mark and I relaxed in the backyard, I asked him to write the word "TRUST" on my chest with a black Sharpie. All my wonderful hubby asked was, "does it matter what font I use?" I said "no." And then I smiled, as this was all part of the trust exercise. After he emblazoned me with trust, I let it seep in. And I took many self-portraits in order to fully remember and embrace the moment: